I wrote the following Facebook post five years ago when I lived in Jerusalem and a year before I moved to Japan. My aunt passed away two years ago, and I greatly miss her. Here is the post:
Today I joined my aunt and the Ulpana (a religious girls-only Jewish school) class she teaches for a tour of the City Center of Jerusalem. The group had 26 girls, ages five to seventeen, all came from the Golan Heights and were astonished to be in the city. We visited some average Jewish galleries with Bible story theme art. Art for tourists and not much more, in my opinion, a bit boring. Talking with the girls, however, was more refreshing. They weren't that interested in the art either and investigated me instead.
First, they thought I was an Ulpana graduate myself doing her Sherut Leumi in Jerusalem. I am not. "But are you religious?" The question sounded urgent. I said it depends and that I am pretty spiritual. The conversation became highly philosophical until one small girl settled it with "So, you don't believe in God." She sounded disappointed. They all got very quiet. I felt a bit bad. "Don't worry, you'll find him one day." someone whispered. Another girl pointed out loudly: "But you do dress like it!", then another girl: "Yeah! Why DO YOU dress like this?!", They all seemed genuinely curious to know, one of them even pulled at my long skirt. It wasn't my first time being mistaken for a shomeret mitzvot (a religious Jewish girl), thanks to my wardrobe choices (only in winter). I wear skirts and leggings because I find them… comfortable. I told the girls that pants make me a bit stressed out, and I feel less beautiful in them. "I don't understand you at all", said an older girl, "You think what you are wearing now is beautiful?" She almost hurt my feelings. But I simply said that I love it very much, yes. The little girl who marked me as a non-believer told me she liked my skirt. I smiled at her, feeling we re-bonded.
They asked where I work. I told them, plain and simple: "Seeds of Peace", a place that creates dialogue sessions between Israelis and Palestinians.
"Peace?" the girl in front of me blurred in surprise. "What Peace?", "Is it in Tel Aviv?", "Everything with peace has to be in Tel Aviv in your world huh." another laughed. "Peace? Peace with whom?”… I answered until someone didn't let me finish, "So you are a big lefty.” they declared. "As if we didn't know this before." another one shouted. Clatter. Clatter.
I took a breath and fought something that was pending in my chest. I suppressed it. In the meantime, several more questions were raised from every direction, some demanded an answer. Usually, this is when I feel dizzy. This is when I say bye. But I liked these girls (one of them was my sweet cousin), so I answered honestly. I could tell that none of them had ever met Palestinians or even thought of such an idea. I probably sounded crazy, even stupid to them. I get it.
But I feel like I planted an idea somewhere nice and warm. Maybe even more than one.
Re-reading this old Facebook post, I feel I was too busy thinking of the differences between my world and theirs. My aunt's world. Instead of our love for many similar things and each other. We had some political quarrels and general disputes. Nowadays, I often wish I had focused more on what could have connected us instead of what sounded righteous to say.
But I forgive. Learning how to connect rather than being correct while staying true to myself. It is a long road.
Efrat Arielle